Therapy Thursdays

well-being

/ˌwɛlˈbiːɪŋ/

noun

noun: wellbeing

1. the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy."an improvement in the patient's well-being
   

inspirational

(ɪnspɪreɪʃənəl 

adjective

1. providing or showing creative or spiritual inspiration."the team's inspirational captain"
   
   
   
   A year ago, some wonderful colleagues of mine started a choir, and, though this rambling is not chronological, this is where I’m starting. When I joined this choir, it was the first step towards realising the importance of wellbeing, and Ive sat down to write about its impact. 

Quite by chance, we were gifted the company of one of the most inspirational and gifted musical influences I’ve ever met . Which incidentally (I warned you, I’ll jump about time lines , but stick with me), has led to another introduction and the creation of “The Two Aled’s” . And between them, they have shared with us the gift of music, and continually push us to be the best we can be, and who’s dedication and willingness (and patience ) goes far beyond any call of duty. 

Each week, now affectionately known as “Therapy Thursdays” we have created a safe, positive space, all whilst singing our hearts out, learning new skills and supporting each other through moments no one else sees.

Being a nurse is the greatest privilege, but it does not come without an emotional toll. I cannot disclose to you how many hands I’ve held, or heads I’ve stroked whilst people take their last breaths. How many families and patients I’ve tried to help through their worst moments. The joyful tears I’ve shed seeing patients leave and return to homes we’ve had pictures of stuck up around their bed. We do, and always will, carry the memory of all those who don’t make it, alongside those who do, long after they leave hospital. 

Working in healthcare can be relentless, and  for it to continue, and to improve, it is essential the wellbeing of staff is looked after, in order to provide more positive patient outcomes. 

The theme behind this , is that actions, however big or small, can translate into meaningful and effective changes for many, and you can translate this in many ways. Actions first have to be voiced, and I think my part of this story is to tell you how important your voice is.

Ensuring every voice is heard has been something of a mission of mine, and especially in the current climate, I still firmly believe in. Not just within nursing but in your life outside work.

There are still parts of my story I cannot yet share, but there are parts, I think, if I take a deep breath, and put on my big girl pants, I can. Not only to put my proverbial ‘money where my mouth is’ but in the hope that it proves a voice is a voice, no matter how small. The snippets I’ll choose to make this point may not be chronological, so you’ll have to stay with me.

Never underestimate the effect of your words on another. Your words may not always receive a response. But do not doubt that they are heard. 

Several years ago, a small voice anonymously posted a tweet on a theme of overcoming battles, in which she voiced how during her first year of studying to become a nurse she had become a single parent since leaving an abusive relationship after nine years, and how she was thankful to be nearing her third year. The outpouring of voices and support from this tweet was overwhelming and motivated the anonymous tweeter to believe she could indeed carry on.

I know this: because that person was me. And this goes a short way to explain my passion for ensuring every voice is heard. 

During this time, I was not the loudest in class, not someone who would speak out. This does not mean I wasn’t passionate about becoming a nurse, about learning, about creating a better home life.

I’m not telling you this for sympathy and violins (because quite honestly, violins aren’t my cup of tea and it would be much more of a kick in the teeth than a remedy). My voice was small, at times barely a whisper, but it mattered. And the words of others affected me massively.

A team, whether that be a Choir, an immediate work team, a friendship group or an online community, is made up of different voices and different personalities, and it is made all the better for being so.  These voices don’t all have to agree, but they do have to be heard. If we make this solely about work for a second – think about an emergency situation – you wouldn’t expect one person to take on the roles of the airway, breathing, circulation and so on – people’s skills lie in different places.

A few years ago, I lost my best friend to cancer. And Covid robbed me of the chance to be physically present at her funeral; as I know it has done for so many.

She was many amazing things, a loving wife, a doting mother to young children, and the most loyal yet nutty of friends, and quite honestly there are no words to do justice to how much I miss her. 

But I tell you this to share some of the last words she wrote before she died, which were read out at her funeral. She started, “I’ll probably bow out soon…” and then went on to tell those close to her that, after the sadness had passed -she wished them to support each other and help each other, and wished she could share with everyone the clarity that came with this diagnosis. 

That she found the strength to write these words is a testament to her bravery and courage. But again, I draw you to her words – Help each other.  Support each other. 

Being positive and making changes isn’t always about running marathons or conquering mountains or attending award ceremonies. It’s the smallest of acts that can make the biggest difference.

Now I skip back to the present.  Being kind to others, being mindful of their opinion, and giving every voice a seat at the table – we have to keep making this happen. You don’t know anyone’s back story, how hard someone’s worked to get where they are. And it doesn’t matter.

It’s the smallest of actions and voices which can lead to the biggest changes. 

And thank you will never be enough to all those who started the choir and “The Two Aleds’” for making us believe in ourselves.

If you only remember one equation for the rest of your life, let it be this one:

Small actions x Many people = Big Changes